The Kiri Effect
by ochreish
Summary: You're lazy, un-cute and you have a really ugly hairstyle. Then why in the world am I so hopelessly in love with you? Narumi contemplates his love for a certain Kiri Koshiba. A collection of vignettes.
1. Chapter 1

**The Kiri Effect **

Summary: You're lazy, un-cute and you have a really boring hairstyle. Then why in the world am I so hopelessly in love with you? Narumi contemplates his love for a certain Kiri Koshiba. A collection of vignettes.

**(1.) **

He shouldn't love her. Shogo Narumi knows many things about his life, and this is one of them: he shouldn't love Kiri Koshiba. They're incompatible, unsuited, mismatched— and he has no idea that the words he's just used mean exactly the same thing. He used to hate her, in fact, he still remembers the time when he did – but when did that end? Was it after she defeated him, after she cut his hair, after she helped him, after she showed him what a beautiful person she was? When? Honestly, he couldn't remember. See, this is what she did to him. She occupied all of his thoughts, so much so, that there wasn't any room for anything else. His mind was crammed full of her smile, her smirk, her careless attitude, and her passion for helping people. Did he mention how much he loved that about her? But he shouldn't, because they're incompatible, unsuited and completely mismatched. Definitely.

But then he watches her cut Kanako's hair; how effortless she's making it look, even though she's running a fever and can barely distinguish the difference between one pair of scissors and three. He sees all of this, and then he realizes. He realizes how much he loves her and how much he wants to be a part of her life. _Screw_ _compatibility_, he thinks, and then he walks towards her, grabs a pair of scissors, and starts cutting. Did he mention that he cuts better when she's with him. Well, that's just one of the perks of loving her; but before he forgets, he reminds himself with a smirk, it's also the first time he's ever beaten Kazuhiko ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**The Kiri Effect **

Summary: You're lazy, un-cute and you have a really boring hairstyle. Then why in the world am I so hopelessly in love with you? Narumi contemplates his love for a certain Kiri Koshiba. A collection of vignettes that spans on with no particular timeline.

**(2.) **

_Baby blues_

From what he knew about Kiri Koshiba, now Kiri _Narumi_, he wouldn't have thought her the type to want children. She was lazy, unenthusiastic and brought the meaning of 'laid-back' to an entirely different level. And he was cool with that. At the time, he was way too preoccupied with work to even think about having children; for him, that was just another thing for another time.

So here he was, standing outside of the delivery room, too scared to even think about going inside; one look at the blood, and _oh god_, he almost fainted! Pacing back and forth, one thought kept rushing through his mind: _I am going to be a father_. This was followed by an audible gulp and another thought: _Kiri is going to be a mother_. Then, the icing on the cake: _we are going to be parents_. He shuddered at the thought, imagining the horrors of parenthood and the terror that was his _father_…

Then a beaming nurse opened the door, "Congratulations, Sir! You have a beautiful pair of twins!" _Twins_! He banged his head against the wall, "Why the"-_thump_-"did we"-_thump_-"not use"-_thump_-"friggin"-_thump_-"protection?"-_Thump_- _thump_- _thump_-!

The nurse shook her head and sighed, "It's always the new ones..." Then she walked up to him, grabbed him by the collar, and forcibly shoved him inside of the room. She watched him stumble across the medical equipment and with a warning glance, she said, "Don't even think about coming out of this room, young man." Fixing her gimlet eye on him for good measure, she turned around and stalked out of the room, gently closing the door behind her.

And when she came back later, the _boy_ (as she dubbed him) was lying next to the girl, awkwardly holding one of the twins in his arms. She smiled at the sight and walked away, not even bothering to remind them that the bed was only meant to hold _one _person.

'I'll leave that to Kaoru,' she thought, 'God knows she's been shirking her duties lately, trying to become a _singer_ pfft…' And she was right to leave at that time, because when Kaoru came to check up on the young couple, it was complete and utter chaos. All of the apparatus was on the floor, the newborn twins were crying, some _really_ good looking guys were arguing with a screaming banshee of a girl; an extremely tall guy was apologising profusely to a girl who was turning at least ten shades of red... and there, on the floor, was a pile that looked like the father? Not to mention there was a really strong smell of ginseng and roses (?).

"U-um," she called out, "There's only meant to be a maximum of four visitors..." She trailed off because no one was listening. Then she did what any sane person would do, she ran out screaming. "NURSE NADESHIKO, I QUIT!"

Five months later, Kaoru became K-ara, a singer whose sudden debut wowed the whole of Japan.

The End.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Kiri Effect **

Summary: You're lazy, un-cute and you have a really boring hairstyle. Then why in the world am I so hopelessly in love with you? Narumi contemplates his love for a certain Kiri Koshiba. A collection of vignettes that spans on with no particular timeline.

**(3.) **

_That Hair_

"... _and that is why, class, the sky is blue... any questions_?"

It was at times like this where he really couldn't take it: being in school, being in class, being _bored_. And the only thing worse than being bored, was being bored sitting next to_ Kazuhiko- _who had about as much spirit as a rock. Seriously, that guy never failed to look attentive, no matter what he was doing! It was almost as if he were some sort of robot or something, which wouldn't be surprising, what with his glasses and all...

Speaking of which, "_Psst_! Kazuhiko."  
>No answer.<br>"Kazuhiko, Kazuhiko... _Kazuhiko_!"  
>Insert the Dangerous Glint of Glasses, along with a, "<em>Shut up,<em> Narumi. I'm _concentrating_, a concept which you might not understand." Exactly. Not human.

He leaned back, and looked at the clock, _12.30_, that meant, another fifteen minutes 'til lunch... He looked around, was there anything vaguely interesting around here? He caught the flirtatious glance of one Minori Takanashi, and grimaced. She winked at him. Apparently there wasn't. He shuddered and looked back to the front; her hair was annoying him anyway.

"Maa, where's Kei when you need him?" He muttered, resting his head against the desk. He turned his head to the back of the class and as expected, the seat was empty. "He must be off skipping class again, what a _baka_."

Tilting his head against the palm of his hand, he was about to doze off, when,  
>"<em>Alright, girls! It's time for our warm up jog<em>!" He looked to the side, and smirked, _tenth grade sports_... Looking around, he spotted a familiar head of hair.

That familiar head of _mussy_ hair. His interest piqued, he glanced condescendingly at the impassive girl and her flustered friend. _That girl_, he thought to himself, _is__ nothing but a pain in the butt_, _and what the hell is up with her hair_? He was pretty sure she had some sort of vendetta against him, which wouldn't be surprising considering all of the terrible stuff that happened whenever she was around... Around the room, three girls sneezed.

Wishing petty revenge, a sudden gust of wind came up and messed up the hairstyles of all the tenth grade girls. They screamed shielding their hair frantically, and he smirked to himself, that mussy hair didn't stand a chance. And rising slightly in his seat he looked out to get a better view...and stared in shock.

There was no way. Despite being attacked by wind (and he hoped she got split-ends because of it) her hair dared to look _glossy _and windswept of all things! Grr, "_What is up with that hair_?" He slammed his hands on the desk, furiously grinding his teeth.

Everyone in the room looked at him. "Is there anything you'd like to share with the class, Mr Narumi?" asked the teacher.  
>He flushed a bright shade of red, how <em>humiliating<em>! "No, Sir." The teacher glared at him, "Then I suggest you sit down and _pay attention_." He nodded his head and sat down in silence for the rest of the lesson. But inside his mind, the death of a certain Kiri Koshiba played out again, and again.

Later, Kei walked into the SP clubroom to find a brooding Narumi attacking a bunch of wigs.  
>"What's the matter, Naru?" He asked, fingering the latest snack in his grubby hands. Narumi looked up, his eyes glinting murderously; "<em>It's that <em>_damn__ hair_..._That stupid, mussy, ugly-as-hell, awfully-cut hair_." All was quiet before Narumi started looking strangely determined. And with eyes like flames, he cried out, "I have to defeat her, no, _it_..._I can't let __**it**__ win._" He added in a whisper. He started laughing maniacally and Kei, being the intelligent person he was, did not reply. Instead, he calmly walked out of the clubroom and straight into the vending machine...and their homeroom teacher.

"_Now_ w_here do you think you're going, Mr. Minami_?"

"Oh hi, Teach! Hehe...WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU?"

The end.

**SS: For those who read this: thanks for putting up with my fail attempts at humor, it's really so appreciated. Sorry for the late update, real life is always getting in the way.**

P.S. For all of you fans, there're some subtle allusions to the extra chapters in the manga. Also, I do realise that Minori is totally out of character, so please don't point that out to me.


End file.
